The Oxford Dilemma
by Kate N. Golsby
Summary: Castle has a choice to make. Alexis' education and the start of a new adventure or the NYPD and a certain Homicide Detective?  First Planned around the time A Rose For Here After aired in Aus but adapted to include s3 spoilers. T for language and themes.
1. Chapter 1

The Oxford Dilemma

Rick sat in his over-stuffed armchair. It was almost midnight and Alexis was fast asleep in her bed. He surveyed his office in silent contemplation. He had worked hard all his life, doing what he loved and being loved for it. That was the life he had grown accustomed to. One where he was appreciated for what he could give, not condemned for what he couldn't. That was the life he missed.

Since his return from the Hamptons nothing had gone the way he planned. Beckett was no longer with Demming, but had found someone new, someone he could never compare to. Her new boyfriend was mature, got along well with all her friends, wasn't a cop, was fun, traveled a lot, though he hated to admit it, he was a nice guy and was far cooler than most people they encountered. He rode a motorcycle for crying out loud. But most of all, Beckett seemed even happier with him than he had ever seen her. Rick had prepared himself for her being in a relationship before he had returned, he hadn't come back willingly, that's for certain, but he prepared himself none the less, so that wasn't the issue, not the big one at least.

There were a few things corroding his happiness and resolve. While things had improved a bit since his initial reappearance at the station no one seemed to want him around anymore, they tried to hide it out of polite deference to their previous friendships, but he could see the tension increase every time he walked into a room. He wasn't blind after all.

Just as he and Gina really found their rhythm that had been snatched away from him. Now whenever he looked at the Captains office he was reminded of the moment his main comfort had become perhaps his most prominent regret. Gina had been killed. Not just killed... murdered. With all the time he had spent with the Homicide devision he hadn't been able to do anything to protect his own family. The officers and Detectives of the twelfth seemed to be constantly trying to console him. It had been a month an what he needed most was a taste of normality. Every sympathetic glance, every comforting touch made him want to scream, throw things, yell, fight and run away all at the same time. When he approached a crime scene he would always think back to the cold of the morgue as Lanie lifted the sheet from Gina's face so that he could say good bye. All he had been able to do was drop his head into his hands, holding her lifeless hand to his cheek and weep.

Alexis didn't spend much time with him anymore, opting instead to hang out with her friends and this guy she had been seeing since Princeton. Rick didn't like the kid, he knew it was because he represented his losing his little girl, but he couldn't talk himself into giving the boy a fair chance. Whenever they were together she was either talking about the perfection that was Oxford University or reminding him that he never acted the part of the parent and he was more immature than half her friends. At one point she had even gone so far as to say that had he acted like an adult instead of the over grown man-child he was he would have been at the meeting meeting with Gina rather than off playing cops and robbers with the NYPD and maybe Gina would still have been alive. He knew that odds were he would only have turned into another victim along with her, but it still struck a chord with him... He was lonely. No one spent time with him just because they wanted to anymore, except his fellow writers and poker buddies. The only people who sought him out were either motivated by work or the need to mother him in his 'time of need'. He scoffed to himself at that thought.

He briefly considered not going to the precinct that day, they didn't really need his help anyway, it was what they were trained to do and he didn't really need the research so it wasn't as if anything bad would come of not showing up. Then he remembered his conversation with the guys shortly after he returned. They had made him promise to never walk out on them again because of Beckett's boyfriend, and if he did he had to at least talk to them about it first and then keep in touch. Well he wasn't thinking of leaving because of her boyfriend, just not showing up so often because he couldn't take the looks and the baby handling. He wondered if they'd count that as an acceptable reason, or if they even remembered that conversation at all. It wasn't like they even hung around him anymore.

He backed up what he had written of 'Deadly Heat' on a disk as he did after every whole chapter he completed. He was making good progress considering how distracted he was. He pressed forward through the night, not willing to lose the flare of inspiration that had hit him late that afternoon. Rook had been consulting but spent more time with Roach than with Nikki. The case they were working lead them to an old subway station where they found Rook's girlfriend's body. Rook would help find the killer, who would be killed in the firefight that had erupted in his struggle to escape. Rick was enjoying writing the final appearance of the murderer. It gave him a hint of the closure that he doubted he would every find for Gina. Her killer was still walking free somewhere. The killings had stopped long enough for them to assume that he had left to city and his case had been handed over to the FBI, he was known as 3xK because he always killed in threes..

The incessant ringing of his phone woke Rick from a sleep he had drifted into without intending to. He almost fell out of his chair as he was startled awake. The caller ID came up as unknown but he answered it anyway, not many people had his home number. "Hello."

"Mr. Castle?" An unfamiliar female voice inquired.

"Speaking."

"Mr. Castle, my name is Patricia Mosse. I'm the Headmistress at Oxford University."

"Oh, hello, Dr. Mosse. I've heard a lot about your University over the past year." Alexis spent almost every moment she had with him trying to convince him that Oxford was the best place in the world with all the best programs. "What can I do for you?"

"It has come to my attention that we might be able to help each other, Mr. Castle." He was silent a moment as he considered what she could possibly mean by that. "I would prefer to discuss this face to face. Something along the lines of lunch at Le Cirque, today at twelve-thirty."

He winced, it was going to cost him big to pull that off as it was usually booked solid. "I'll see what I can do."

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Castle. I have a reservation already. I haven't come to the city on a whim, I've been planning this trip for a long time and I find that things run smoother if one has a solid schedule and follows it through."

"Very true, Dr. Mosse." He released a grateful breath of air at the relief. He preferred to save the pulling of those kinds of strings for things he knew would prove beneficial to him.

"I'll meet you there then." It was a statement, he suddenly didn't like the confidence this woman had in her level of control over him, but he was too curious to see what gave her said confidence to say decline the meeting out of spite.

His cell rang in the other room. "I'll see you there. Now, I'm sorry, Dr. Mosse, but I have to go."

"That's quite alright, so do I. Thank you for your time, Mr. Castle." With that they each hung up the phone and Rick went to find his cell. When he did find it he saw that the caller was Esposito. It wasn't strange for Espo to be the one calling him to cases of late. He wasn't sure why that had become the norm but accepted it as further evidence of the sift in his relationship with the team.

"Detective, to what do I owe the pleasure."

"Hey, Castle. You know it's Esposito, right?"

Rick laughed at the other man's confusion."Yeah, I know it's you."

"Oh, good... We've got a case. You want in?" He sounded like he expected the answer to be yes and was asking more from habit than anything else.

He took a quick look at the clock before almost jumping at the time. "Wow! Sorry, Espo, I've got to go. I'm going to be so late! I might be in later this afternoon, you can fill me in then." He heard Esposito start to answer him but he'd already pressed the end call button. 'Ah well, if it's important he'll tell me later.' Rick thought to himself. Another look at the clock had him running up the stairs to his bathroom for a quick shower and a shave. 'Damn woman didn't even give me two hours notice!' He cursed as he went about morning routine. He had slept really late as a result of his all night writing session and didn't want to look it when he showed up at Le Cirque.

"He just hung up on me?" Esposito half asked, half told Ryan. "He's never hung up on me before. Not even when we..." He stopped mid-sentence as Ryan signaled for him to stop. He turned to see Beckett standing behind him, one eyebrow raised in question. He smiled and tried to cover his almost slip. "He's not coming... Let's go Ryan."

"Not so fast." Beckett crossed her arms over her chest. He wasn't fooled by the misleading smile on her face. "I'm curious. Not even when you what?"

"Um..." He looked at Ryan who shrugged his shoulders as if saying, 'you're the idiot who got himself into this mess, dig yourself out.' "We may have had a not so friendly chat with him when he got back from the Hamptons."

"And by we he means he." Ryan threw in, providing less help than he may have imagined at the time.

"Both of you are going to tell me exactly what you did and said that may or may not have been 'not so friendly'. And you're going to do so before anyone goes anywhere." Her foot started tapping the floor. There was one particular topic she wanted Castle to know nothing about and it was beginning to look like they had hinted at it.

She could see on Esposito's face that he had an idea. As soon as that spark flared in his eyes he spoke. "It was nothing, we just wanted to know why he didn't call us or anything while he was away or when he got back and we wanted to make sure it didn't happen again."

"What, you afraid your man-crush couldn't survive another summer apart?" They laughed, the boys because they thought they had gotten away clean, Kate because she knew she could always get it out of Castle and it wasn't too likely that they mentioned how his absence had affected her. Castle would have said something if they had. She was curious though, she had been behind Esposito long enough and close enough to hear the last part of Castle's side of the conversation. She really needed to talk to Esposito about the volume he had his phone set to, he was going to send himself deaf. "Did he give a reason?" The guys looked confused and she rolled her eyes. "A reason to not come along. He usually jumps at the idea of a dead body." Determination seemed to over ride his enthusiasm when around the scenes since his ex-wife's murder, but she was pretty sure that his initial giddiness was still there when the calls came in, his arrival time hadn't slowed.

Esposito and Ryan shared a look that Kate wasn't sure she wanted to translate. "Nah, he just said he was going to be late for something... Didn't say what though."

Kate nodded a sad little nod, she had been hoping to get the chance to talk to Castle about how he was coping with everything. They hadn't had much time alone since he got back from the Hamptons. He even rode to scenes with them, opting to sit in the back seat of their cruiser than in the passenger seat of hers. She thought that he might have been avoiding her. That was the main reason she let Esposito be the one to call him in most of the time, when she did it she almost always got his voice mail or he'd have some excuse to not come. Those thoughts hurt more than it did watching him leave for the summer with Gina in his arms. "Okay, guess we should hit the road then." She tried to sound cheery but didn't quite pull it off.

"He said he might be in later this afternoon though." She remembered hearing that and it would have brightened her spirits if she didn't get the feeling that he would spend the entire time he was there talking with the guys and pretending nothing was wrong between them when by doing that he was just continuing what issues were between them.

Rick followed the waiter to the table. Dr. Mosse was already seated and waiting for him. When he arrived she smiled at him the way a fox might smile at a chicken trapped in the coop. His own smile brightened at the appropriate nature of his analogy. The woman in front of him was, for all intents and purposes, a fox. The locks of her chocolate brown hair were left to float around her shoulders, ending just above her breasts. She dressed fashionably but just conservatively enough that no one would mistake her for a celebutante or a bimbette, as Beckett liked to call them. Her skirt suit was tailored to fit her body shape and accentuate her curves, she was just a little more curvy than Beckett. Her heels were high enough to tell him that she didn't have to do a lot of running in her line of work. Her make up was done in a way that told him that she was aware of how attractive she was and wasn't afraid to use it against the men around her. The glasses she wore were sleek, black frames that in no way took away from her high cheek bones and deep, knowing, green eyes. There was definitely a spark in those eyes that suggested she was a lively one behind the mask of a serious academic. From what he had experience and suspected of her he had no doubt that she would prove to be cunning and sly, much like the fox.

"Mr. Castle, it was good of you to meet with me on such short notice." She offered her hand to him. He was standing beside the table so it wasn't too far to reach for him to shack it. Her grip was firm but not bone crushing, he noted, that told him that she had character and wasn't easily swayed.

"It's Rick, or Richard, please..."

"Won't you take a seat, Mr. Castle?" She indicated for him to do just that as she put a firm emphasis on her chosen form of address. He smiled. 'Not easily swayed at all.'

He did as she asked. The waiter handed him a menu and then left. "I have to say that I was surprised to get your call this morning, and the invitation to dine with you."

"Yes, I imagine you were." She didn't make eye contact as she scanned the menu. One side of her lips lifted as she took a sip from her water glass. He had to suppress a smile of his own. She looked even better with a smile on her face, especially one as obviously saucy as the one she had just tried to hide.

"I see I'll have to come right out and ask, won't I?" She met his eyes and raised an eyebrow in mock curiosity. "Why did you ask me to lunch today?"

"Like I told you on the phone, I think we can help each other and I wanted to talk face to face... You get a better feel for people that way." She said the last part as though it were a dirty secret. He took a sip of his own water to allow his mind to refocus.

"Okay, I'll be more direct. What is it you think we can do for each other, Dr. Mosse?" He could tell she was enjoying this and it made him curious to know how she worked, what made her tick and what her game was.

"Ah, now we get to the point." The waiter chose that moment to ask if they were ready to order and she gave him hers while Rick quickly decided on his own. Once they were done she continued. "I want to offer you a job Mr. Castle."

He had been taking another sip of water and almost spat it out at the shock but gained control of himself in time to avoid that scene. "You what? Why? Doing what?" His mind was racing.

She laughed. It wasn't a bad sound but he was a little distracted. "The Crime Fiction consultant for our main campus came down with a rather tragic case of death last month." He barely stopped himself from snorting in laughter at her word choice. She smiled again. "I thought you might like that phraseology... He went peacefully if that helps alleviate the guilt in the humour, it was his time to go... We were good friends."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Don't be, we all had plenty of time to come to terms with it before the end and he lived a good life. I only mentioned it so that you don't feel honor bound to take umbrage at any future humour on his behalf." She smiled weakly. "Back to the point. I want to hire you as his replacement, at least for the next twelve months so that another consultant can be found. It's short notice and the final term starts in two months, I can't expect my students to suddenly adapt to being less advantaged in their examination months than they were in the mid-period. I have allowed them to grow used to having someone available to answer their questions and to suddenly deny that would be negligent of me... You would be there to meet with students and answer their questions on the subject and mentor them where you can. We would gladly provide on campus accommodation for you and your daughter."

"Why me?"

"I did some research on you and I found that you trained as a Crime Fiction tutor while writing your first few bestsellers..." He knew that wasn't all so he just raised an eyebrow and looked at her until she elaborated. "Also I know of something that could work as an incentive for you to make it worth your while, most of our other options wanted to play hard ball due to the short notice and we at Oxford do not pander to the needs of those who view knowledge as something to be kept to themselves and expect to be paid more than they're worth... For you I believe there is another solution."

"What's that, Dr. Mosse?"

"Your daughter, Mr. Castle." He put the glass back on the table without taking another sip and looked at the woman coldly. "I have it on good authority that she has inquired about a position at our fine establishment. She's doing very well at school isn't she? You must be very proud. The board and I have discussed the possibility of offering her a full scholarship should she choose us... I think you'll find that we can be very persuasive when we want something, and don't get me wrong, Mr. Castle, we want you. You are qualified, proven successful in the industry you would be mentoring our students towards and with the publicity of your Nikki Heat novels and the production of the movie rumor is they plan to release next month we stand to gain more interest by association." He considered the offer silently for a moment. He couldn't ask Alexis to move schools, but he had a funny feeling the implied offer of a place for her could just as easily go the other way were he to decline. He couldn't do that to Alexis, it was clear that she had her heart set on Oxford. "Think about it Mr. Castle." She went on to describe the pay he would receive, the programs available for students and generally covered every selling point for prospective students, doing an even better job than Alexis of convincing him that Oxford was the right fit for his daughter.

Their food arrived half way through her sales pitch and they ate while they talked. "I need to think about your offer, Dr. Mosse, and you'll get not solid answer from me until I have spoken to my daughter, because this will affect her a much as it will me, maybe even more."

"I completely understand and that was as much of a commitment as I was hoping to get from this meeting. I can give you until the end of next week, but I have to be on a plane back to England on the Saturday and if you want the job you will need to be with me." He nodded his agreement. "Good, now that we have the business side of things taken care of I can tell you that I am a fan of your work, I have read all of your published works at least twice. Your Nikki Heat series particularly interests me. You say she is based on a real person?" They began talking about his books and characters. He was amazed at how different it was to talk to someone about his books that was familiar with the industry and had similar and varying opinions of the importance of literature as well as his specific genre. It was something he had only experienced with Gina before, and only when things were going well between them.

"You certainly have some interesting opinions on the crime fiction genre, Dr. Mosse, I'll be sure to share them with Michael Connelly, Stephen Cannell and James Patterson when I see them tomorrow night."

"First, we're not talking business so Patricia's fine."

"Does this mean you'll call me Rick now?"

She giggled, he liked making a woman giggle, it showed that she still knew how to make the fun kind of mistakes. "Yes, it does, Rick."

"Second, you are meeting with James Patterson tomorrow night?" He nodded. "He's one of my favorite authors in your genre. What's he like?"

Rick laughed. "Why don't you pop by my place around nine-thirty and you can find out for yourself? We have a weekly poker game you might enjoy. As long as it's not business, no offense but I prefer to be on a first name basis with everyone in my own home."

"Absolutely. I'd love to and it just so happens that I don't have anything on tomorrow after eight." She suddenly looked slightly more like the fan girl he now knew was in there. "I'm sorry about all the Dr. Mosse stuff, it's just that being a woman in the academic world still has it's disadvantages, even if they are less obvious than the used to be... I can't afford to be seen as a woman when I'm working, just as someone with a doctorate, that has to be my only identity around the people I work with."

"Well, since we don't work together, and you are far more academic than me, I'm not a part of that world and I will never be an academic, not of that kind, what do you say we stay first on first names? It's not like I'll need reminding that you're the boss if I do take the job."

"I'll think about it..." She then whispered to herself as if weighing the names up by the feel of them on her tongue. "Mr. Castle...Rick... You know what, I like your idea. Rick it is all the time, the same goes for you calling me Patricia, except when I call you Mr. Castle, that's probably a good hint that we need to be formal."

"Deal." He smiled his signature grin.

This case was definitely a strange one. The victim was dressed in what Kate could only assume was her work uniform, that of a waiter, the shirt was embroidered with the emblem of Le Cirque. The strange part was that the murder weapon appeared to be an ice cream scoop. The scene was in the middle of central park, so it wasn't as if someone dug his temple out with said scoop in self defense or a moment of passion like most of the crimes involving such usually non-lethal kitchen items. "Any luck on the ID yet?" Kate wanted to know who the woman was so that she could notify the family soon and then refocus on the crime itself.

"None, no wallet, no nothing."

"Okay, Boys, it looks like we're going to Le Cirque, right in the middle of their lunch rush." She was not looking forward to the inevitable reluctance of the staff.

The conversation had turned back to books, this time not his and he was pleased to finally be able to discuss other people's work, Gina had previously been the only one interested in his opinion on the subject. He found himself intrigued by her theories on why certain authors worded things in particular ways and what inspired certain books, scenes or characters. They quickly moved on from serious interpretations and began competing to see who could come up with the best, or most outrageous background for the things fictional characters did in the many novels they had both read and the same for common fairy tales. They were laughing joyfully, trying to keep their voices down so as to not disturb the people around them, they had received multiple glares from the waiting staff already. They leaned in to reduce the noise they made.

It was during one especially merry moment that Rick caught sight of three familiar figures entering the restaurant. They approached the matradee at the door and he saw them flash their badges. There was little on his mind just then other than how bad the situation could become if the Detectives found out about the job offer before he had even spoken to Alexis. Rick thought that as long as he didn't draw any more attention to himself he wouldn't have to explain anything, which meant not changing his behavior at all because the sudden dying down of laughter when the police arrived was a sure way to get noticed.

Leaning in again, he had pulled away momentarily. It was his turn to come up with a story so he paused for a moment to think of one that hadn't already been told and began. Rick lost himself in the story, like he always did. He had just told the punch line of the joke behind the story, making Patricia clasp her hand to her mouth in an attempt to minimize the noise, when a voice from a few feet to his right dragged them from their little bubble. "Yo, Castle, you ditched murder for a date?" It was unmistakably Esposito.

"Actually, we're..." Patricia stopped mid-sentence as she saw Rick signaling for her to not tell them.

"We're just having lunch." Rick supplied. "What are you guys doing here? I thought you had a case."

"We're working it, turns out our vic. was a waiter here." Ryan clarified. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Castle?"

"Leave the man alone, can't you see he's busy..." Rick turned to Beckett, unsure of what to expect but glad that she was not pushing it too. "But you know, Castle, it is kind of rude to not introduce your friends." 'It was too good to last'' he mused to himself.

"Of course, Detectives. Patricia this is Detective Kate Beckett NYPD and her partners Detectives Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan." He indicated each individually as he got to them. "Detectives this is Dr. Patricia Mosse."

The widening of Beckett's eyes didn't go unnoticed by Rick when he identified his lunch partner. "A Doctor, huh? Anything you want to tell us, Castle?" Beckett asked not only humour in her voice. Esposito and Ryan gave Rick looks that suggested he would have explaining to do later, whether he wanted to or not.

Patricia laughed lightly. "I'm not that kind of Doctor, Detective. I'm the Headmistress of Oxford University."

"Yo, what are you doing with the Headmistress of a university, Castle?" Esposito wondered out loud.

"Socializing, what else?" Patricia answered for him. "I'm sorry, Rick but I have a speech to give t a seminar across town in less than an hour and there are some las minute preparations I need to make..."She stood and leaned in, whispering in his ear. "But before I go consider m offer, not only are our programs the best for your daughter but I think you'd find we appreciate greatness more than say the NYPD, and someone like you could have a very exciting career..." She kissed his cheek and began to walk away. "Oh, and prepare to lose big tomorrow night."

He laughed and called back. "I look forward to seeing you try."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing, didn't when I started and won't when I finish writing fanfiction.

* * *

"So, Castle, you ditched us for a social call? With Oxford's Headmistress no less. You planning on becoming a student?" Beckett asked as though it were just a casual side topic. The fact that she asked it the moment they finished talking to the staff of Le Cirque told Castle it was anything but.

"Alexis is, it's pretty much all she can talk about."

In Beckett's opinion that information had been far too easily volunteered and she also knew that he wouldn't be seeing the woman again the following night if it were solely for Alexis wanting to attend Oxford, unless he was suddenly prostituting himself for his daughter's education which she very much doubted, he had the money and Alexis was doing far too well at school for any issues to arise. "I don't buy it. I'm sure she wants to go very badly, but doesn't explain _you_ meeting with the Headmistress. College is still over a year away for Alexis... what are you hiding, Castle?"

"Absolutely nothing. My baby wants to go to Oxford, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that happens without ever being called into question." As he said it Castle realised that he had just made up his mind without even consulting Alexis. 'This could be interesting' he mentally noted.

"Wow, I sometimes forget that you can be mature when it comes to Alexis." Beckett saw something flash behind his eyes at her comment and was puzzled by it. "What?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. Some people would disagree with you on that point though." He looked so sad to Beckett that she thought she had hit a raw nerve there. Castle was thinking the same thing himself. 'It's time to grow up, Kiddo. Time to give Alexis the father she wants before it's too late to _really_ put her before yourself.' His internal voice sounded scarily like his mother's. It was right, which was even more frightening.

Deciding to drop that point for now Beckett changed the subject. "Hey, you want to ride back to the station with me? I can fill you in on the way." 'Please don't say you're going with the boys, not again.' She thought to herself.

Castle looked at his watch. The interviews had taken much longer than he thought, it was now approaching the end of the school day. Alexis would be getting out of class in about fifteen minutes. She had extra curricular activities after school but he would have to pull her out for the afternoon. There was something more important than extra credits she needed to know about. Beckett was getting fidgety, he had the look that told her he was about to say no and she would once again have to watch him walk away. "I'm sorry Detective, I won't be going back to the station this afternoon. I have to pick Alexis up from school."

"I'll drive you." She wasn't letting him avoid her so easily anymore. She was done with the philosophy of 'let him come to you', that clearly no longer worked with him.

"You don't have to do that, Beckett, I can catch a cab."

"You could catch a cab..." She admitted it was a possibility. "Or you could just let me drive you, besides, I haven't seen Alexis since the 'Naked Heat' launch party. I miss little Castle."

He smiled at the knowledge that there were people Alexis could depend on in the city. It both helped put his mind at ease and hurt for him to think about what he was going to do. He realised that he had really made up his mind the moment one of the interviews with the staff had given him the idea of how to get around the dilemma of moving Alexis to England with him. One of the waiters was from Argentina and he left four children there with his wife, he worked three jobs to send money home. He could work his plan with a clear conscience knowing there were people around to look out for his daughter but he could already feel the pain just thinking about everything they would be there for and he would miss out on seeing. Then again that had already started. Alexis was pulling away from him and this way there was nothing for her to pull away from.

"Castle, are you alright?" Beckett was standing there, door open, one leg in the car, looking at him as though he had just said the strangest thing.

"Sorry?"

"You just stopped walking and spaced out on me. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, every thing is fine." He already hated the role of being the grown up. Grown ups kept their problems to themselves and dealt with them alone. They also had to work in jobs they didn't want when there was nothing they wanted more than to hold their children in their arms and never let go. He climbed into the passenger seat, Beckett hopped in beside him, turned on the engine and pulled out into the traffic. "Can you not mention my lunch or who I was with to Alexis?"

Beckett was getting even more concerned for him, he never kept anything from Alexis, not if there was anything he could do about it. It was sometimes worrying to think about the images of death he must create for her on a daily basis but the truth was that it was an aspect of their relationship that she admired. She didn't respond because she didn't know how to. If he was keeping it a secret it was probably something that Alexis would need to know but she didn't want to step on his toes with his own daughter.

Castle didn't even notice that Beckett hadn't replied, he had already lost himself in his own thoughts. Thoughts about England, his contracts, Alexis and everything he would miss. He had known since the first time he held her that he would give his life and everything he had for her, he just never thought that one day he would have to give up what little time he had thought he had left for her. He had always thought that he would be fighting to keep her by his side, now he was fighting to give her up. His heart broke at the thought.

They rode in silence for a few minutes, until Beckett couldn't take it anymore. It was Castle sitting beside her, he was never quiet, never still, yet there he was, not making a sound. If it hadn't been for the changes of expression as he thought about something that clearly distressed him and his chest moving as he breathed she would have thought he was dead. This was the first time they had been alone together for a while and she needed to know that he really was okay. The Castle she knew would only take the barest of prodding to spill the beans on what was troubling him. "How are you holding up?" He looked at her as though he had forgotten she was even there. That stung a little. "What's bothering you, Castle...? How are you coping with everything that's happened?" Neither of them needed to say it out loud, they both knew she was talking about Gina.

"I'm fine. Every thing's fine." He was more snippy than usual. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Beckett. I just wish that every one would stop either tip toeing around what happened to Gina or telling me how sorry they are for it. I don't need sympathy and I don't care how sorry every one is. I just want things to go back to normal... I guess this is normal now, huh?"

Beckett knew exactly what he was talking about she had experienced the same thing with her mother. "It will get better, Castle. It will take a while but one day you'll walk through the door and you will be just another guy walking through the door. People will avoid brining it up and they will get uncomfortable when it comes up but it will just be something you're used to, something that you can talk about without having to fake your smiles. Then they will grow at ease with it and it won't be so awkward. You'll see."

"Thanks." Castle kept the fact that where he was going there was no need to wait, he would just not tell the people around him what happened and then they wouldn't have to learn to be at ease with it.

Recognizing that the topic had run its course she pressed something else she wanted to know about. "So, you and the boys have been getting along really well lately."

Castle wasn't sure what had triggered that comment but he was certain that it was leading to what she really wanted to talk about. "I guess it appears that way."

She raised her eyebrow, that really wasn't the answer she anticipated receiving. "You're not getting along then?"

"It's complicated." He couldn't quite figure it out himself.

"How is that complicated?"

"Yes, we're getting along well on the job. They let me ride with them, we share theories, Esposito calls me for cases and we talk about guy stuff. It's complicated because..." He trailed off.

"Because?"

"I don't really think I should be talking to you about this."

"Why not, Castle? What is going on with you? I keep trying to figure out what it is but every time I think I've got the answer you throw me through a loop."

"Because I don't know what to think anymore. One day we're all getting along like a house on fire, we had a routine that worked, the next day it's like I shot you in the leg or something. I don't get it. We were on such good terms, I took a vacation, giving you and Demming the break you wanted, then suddenly I'm an outcast. I got shot at and called a scumbag all within two minutes of seeing you guys for the first time in months."

Beckett was shocked that he had basically come right out and said that he left so that she could be with Demming. She had no idea that he was just as surprised that it had slipped out so easily. "Castle, I-"

"It's okay, Beckett. You don't need to say anything. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you and Demming broke up, I heard that you took it pretty hard, and I'm sorry that you didn't get your weekend away, you of all people deserve a vacation every now and then..." Beckett was speechless. "I get that your friends and colleagues are protective of you, I really do, I'd do the same thing in their situation... If it wouldn't inevitably lead to my own painful death." He added the last part when he remembered all the occasions she reminded him that she was wearing a gun. "This is us." She pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park. "I'll be right back."

With that Castle jumped out of the car and hurried off to find Alexis. He found her exiting her history classroom. She was the last one to leave, even the teacher had gone. The hallway was deserted. "Dad, what are you doing here?" She looked worried.

"I thought I'd pick you up today." She didn't look happy about his answer.

"I have a debate meeting today, Dad, like I do every Tuesday."

"I know, but you're not going tonight, there is something we need to talk about." Her eyes narrowed and he knew she was about to start fighting with him.

"This is my education we're talking about. I can't just make commitments and then break them on a whim! That's your job!" She turned to walk away.

"Alexis, this is important."

"So is my team!"

"Debate doesn't even rank close to what I have to say." He was getting frustrated now.

"Oh, let me guess, you were supposed to meet mum at the airport this morning but you went to a crime scene with Beckett instead and now mum's lying in a morgue somewhere. Am I close?" She paused briefly while he wrapped his head around the fact that she had just said that to him. "Oh, wait, don't tell me you've decided you want to play a stupid game of laser tag tonight so you're faking a family crisis to get me out of my meeting."

"That was below the belt, Alexis." There were tears trying to break free of his eyes but he refused to let them.

"Well, since the only part of your anatomy you listen to is located there I'd say it was right on target." She spat back.

Forcing himself to keep his voice level he replied. "I guess it's a good thing that you think so little of me... that way you won't miss me so much when I leave next week." He let it sink in a moment. "I'll make some calls when I get home and find you a nanny. Don't worry, she'll only be there to sign permission slips and things as well as make sure you're safe. Paula can take care of the rest."

"What do you mean 'when you leave'? Leave where? Why do I need a nanny and why is Paula looking after things?" She looked a little less unforgiving.

"I got an offer today, Crime Fiction Consultant at Oxford University... I'm moving to England for the next twelve months at least."

"You can't do that! I have school and friends here!"

"Hence the nanny, Alexis. Think about what we were just talking about. Why would you need a nanny if you were moving with me?"

She stopped every thing, even her breathing halted for a second. "You're moving to a different country and leaving me here?" He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "Dad, I know things haven't been great between us but you can't just move away and leave me!" He hated that she looked so crushed.

"I'm not leaving because things are tense at home. Alexis, you can come and visit me in the holidays and I will come visit you when I can, but I have to go."

"Why? If not because of me, then why?"

"Because it's time I started acting like your father and not your best friend. I have to grow up and if there's one thing that grown men do it's look after their families. You're all I've got left Alexis, you and Grams. I'm not about to let you down too, just because I want to be selfish and stay here with you."

"How is that being selfish? I want you here, Dad, so does Grams."

"I have to provide for you, Alexis, that's my job, my purpose. In order for me to give you what you want, what is best for you, I have to take the job. You'll like Oxford once you get there. The Headmistress assures me that their program is the best for you, and she knows a lot about what you're looking for in a university from your requests for information on courses and extra curricular activities."

What was going on suddenly began to dawn on Alexis. Her father was being blackmailed into taking a job he didn't want. Not only was she what they were using against him but she had even primed him for it. She had made a huge thing about his immaturity and made it easy for him to be taken advantage of when he tried to give her what he thought she wanted. "Dad... all those times I've given you a hard time about being such a child, I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did, Pumpkin, and that's perfectly okay. You have every right to be a kid and have your dad be a proper dad." Alexis launched herself into his arms and hugged him as tightly as she could.

"Don't go, Dad. I love you the way you are and I want you to stay with me, here in New York." She was crying. "Please, Daddy, stay. We'll go home and play laser tag, I'll even take the day off tomorrow and spend the whole time with you. Just don't leave me."

He again fought back tears. "Chin up, Baby Bird. Everything will be okay. I love you too, more than you'll ever know, but that's why I have to do this."

"No! I won't go to Oxford. I'll got to Princeton! Just stay. If you have to go, take me with you." Her head was buried in his chest and he could feel her tears soak through to his skin.

"I won't ask you to do that."

"You don't have to!"

"It's not going to happen. You want Oxford, we both know you do. If you choose Princeton later down the line then you can apply there instead but I won't be the reason you gave up something this important..."

"Then take me with you!" He could barely breath, she was holding onto him so tightly.

"I can't do that, Alexis. You're in the middle of the most important two years of your high school career and all your friends and family are here. I'll email you every day and call you as often as I can. I'll make sure you always have access to what money you need and that it's enough for you to come visit me whenever you can." He kissed the top of her head, allowing a single tear to drop from his eye. It fell into her hair and she cried even more as she realised how much she had let herself hurt him with everything she had said despite his willingness to give his everything for her.

When her sobs dissipated into soft whimpers he squeezed her a little more before pulling away and wiping her eyes dry. "Come on, Pumpkin, Beckett's in the car waiting for us. Unless she's driven off already." He tried to lighten the mood but that just made a fresh wave of tears spring up in her eyes. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm still here." He pulled her back into his arms. "Oh, sweety, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just come out and said it like that."

She shook her head against him. "I-I'm glad you d-did." They stood there for a few more minutes to let her cry. Then Castle silently lead her towards the exit, her head buried in his side and her body tucked under his arms.

Beckett watched the pair walk out of the building and follow the path towards her. At first it looked like they were just enjoying the closeness and she smiled warmly, but as they got closer she could see that the front of Castle's shirt was soaking wet, level with Alexis' face. Her smile disappeared entirely as she realised the young girl had been crying. Castle opened the door for his daughter and Beckett got her first good look at Alexis' red, puffy eyes. "Alexis, what happened?"

"D-dad's mo-" Castle cut her off.

"Nothing happened, Beckett. Just a little family thing."

"Okay..." She dragged out the 'ay' as she tried to figure out what could possibly have upset Alexis so much and that he wouldn't want to tell her. "I take it we're heading back to your apartment?"

"Yeah, thanks, Beckett." Castle climbed into the back seat next to his daughter. Beckett watched as he closed his door and his daughter immediately fell into his arms again. It looked to her as though the teenager was clinging onto her father for dear life, afraid that he would disappear if she relaxed her grip for even a moment.

* * *

Rick sat in his office once more. He had just made the phone calls to his mother, Paula, Patricia, a nanny service and a real estate agent in Oxford, England. It was important for him that he lived somewhere that he had a semblance of autonomy from the university and could do what he wanted in his home, when he wanted and have whomever he wanted stay with him as well as a room always ready for Alexis' use. Those had been some of the hardest calls he had ever made. There was a house that was perfect for him on the market right where he wanted it. It was out of the ordinary person's price range so he was able to get it without competition. Paula organized his and Alexis' passports, visa's, alerting his publisher to his change of address, organizing his farewell party and the shipping of everything he was going to take with him. It wasn't much, just his books, most of his clothes, he was going to carry on his laptop, and a lot of his photos. When he knew that everything else was done for the time being he began to pack his things into boxes he had run out to get. He would talk to the guys in the morning.

* * *

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Javier, Kevin, can I have a minute?" Rick asked the guys who were somewhere behind the stacks of paper work on their desks.

"Sure thing, Castle. What's up?" Ryan's head popped up from behind his. Esposito's came up within the second.

"Where's Beckett?" He was rubbing his hands together, nervous about how his news would be received.

"She ran out to see Lanie about ten minutes ago. Why?"

"I have something to say and I want to talk to you before she finds out." The boys remembered the promise they extracted from Castle very well and this opening to a conversation was no to either of their liking due to what it, when considered with the promise, implied.

"Go on."

He looked around quickly to make sure that Beckett wasn't in the room. "I can't hang out with you guys anymore. That includes going to crime scenes, the whole lot."

"Dude, is this because Beckett's boyfriend has been tagging along to our celebration dinners at Remy's lately?"

"No, guys I gave you my word that I wouldn't leave again because Beckett was with someone else. This has nothing to do with Beckett. I just can't physically be here..."

"Because...?"

"Because I'm moving to England."

"What?" Both men called in surprise.

"Okay, I'm going to come clean on this so hear me out." Ryan and Esposito nodded. "I wasn't just having lunch with Patricia yesterday."

"I knew it!" Ryan exclaimed. Both men death glared him and he muttered, "Sorry." before Rick continued.

"She was offering me a job. I'll be the consultant for the university's Crime Fiction courses."

"How long?" Esposito asked sadly.

He took a deep breath. "Twelve months, at least. There are too many variables to give an exact date." He saw the faces of the Detectives drop. "I'll come back when I can to see Alexis, maybe we can meet up then."

"You're leaving Alexis here?"

"Yeah, I can't drag her half way across the world with me, she has school and friends here."

"You have friends here!"

"It's not the same thing!"

"How is it different?" Ryan took up the argument.

"I'm a father, my priority is Alexis! She has her heart set on Oxford, I have a chance to get her what she wants and that is all that I need to know!"

"I'm sure your daughter doesn't want you to leave either!"

"She's a teenager, a good start and a bright future is the best thing I can give her! She'll be fine without me, you all will!"

"Castle, you're our friend. Sure, we'll survive but it's going to suck without you."

"I'm sorry, guys, this is something I have to do. I really don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice."

"Not this time. There is too much to lose if I don't... Besides, you will get a free place to stay if you ever come to Oxford for a visit."

"They gave you a place big enough for guests?"

"I bought my own place yesterday." There was a momentary silence as both Detectives realised just how serious and immovable he was.

"When?"

"When... do I leave?" Esposito nodded. "Saturday after this one."

"When are you gonna tell Beckett?"

"Tell me what?" Kate walked into the room smiling. The grin fell from her face when she saw the sad expressions of her colleagues. "What don't I know?"

"Oh, so much, Beckett." Rick tried to lighten the mood. It didn't work. She just glared at him. "Okay, so not in the mind frame for humour, got it." He turned back to the guys. "I've got to go. There's a lot to do. There will be a party, you'll get your invites as soon as they're ready. Not a word to anyone or I will be most unpleasant company." He gave them a glare that dared them to try him, smiled at Beckett then hurried away. He didn't stop on the way out because he had spoken to Montgomery before talking to the Detectives.

Kate looked at the boys and a grin they didn't like the look of spread across her face. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." They said in unison.

"So you were wondering when he was going to tell me 'nothing,' were you? I wasn't born yesterday. You think Castle can be unpleasant, he's got nothing on me... You have two options. One, tell me now and I will keep Castle to myself until he's over it. Or two, you can take your chances with me. Remembering that I'm your boss and I determine whether you do more or less paperwork and which jobs I want you to hand over to the unis or do yourselves... Think really hard."

The men looked at each other. "We can't. Not this time." Ryan spoke first.

"Bro, what is he going to do? Have Alexis start following us? Yeah, 'cause that would be hell." His tone was dripping sarcasm.

"It's not our place to tell anyone. I don't care how much paperwork or dumpster diving I have to do, I'm not stabbing the guy in the back. Not after shutting him out when he needed us the most, regardless of him walking away. You and I both know it was as painful for him as it was for us. Probably even more so. We're supposed to be his friends. How many times are we going to ask him to prove himself before we return the favor?" Ryan walked towards the break room. "If it was me, would you tell her?"

* * *

A/N: I know this was short but I was supposed to be doing an assignment today, instead you got two updates. So, enjoy. This is unbetad, as with all my stories. I hope there aren't too mn mistakes in there. You know you want to review, so why not click the link and share your thoughts with the one person who knows where this story is going?


	4. Chapter 4

Rick hurried around his loft making sure that everything was in place for the night's poker game and that he hadn't left boxes lying out in the open. He may have been moving, and it wasn't exactly a secret, but he had a reputation to uphold and a messy apartment wasn't in the cards. The entire day and the afternoon before had been spent with the caterer for the up coming farewell party and he was pretty sure that he would die a happy man if he never saw another orderve. That had given him less than two hours to get home, set up the poker table, snacks and to get changed.

The door bell chimed as he was setting out the last of the chips. Upon opening the door he found James Patterson and Stephen Cannell had arrived first. "Hey, come on in." He had only just turned from the now closed door when the bell rang again. This time Michael Connelly was on the other side. "I can't believe you actually let Patterson beat you over here. You're slipping my friend."

"Ha ha, Castle." He grinned. "Actually, I would have been here sooner but I ran into someone down stairs." He indicated for whoever it was to come into view and Rick had to smile at the sight. Patricia looked nervous and it wasn't a state he never expected to see her in. "You've been holding out on us, Castle."

"Absolutely, can't have you stealing her away from me on the first day, can I?" They all shared a laugh. "Get in here you two before we start chewing into our playing time." He stepped aside to let them in. "Well, you two have clearly met, Patricia, the sorry looking duo over there is Stephen Cannell and James Patterson. Guys, this is Dr. Patricia Mosse of Oxford University, and my new boss."

"Boss?" All three men exclaimed in surprise.

"Not quite, you haven't actually signed the papers yet." She smiled shyly.

"Yes, well, that's a simple oversight, one I'm sure you'll correct as soon as possible."

"That I will, Rick. You can count on it." She then turned to the other men and shook hands with each of them in turn, giving varying degrees of praise for their work in accordance to her personal tastes.

"So how did you manage to convince our Rick to tie himself down to an honest job?" Cannell inquired. It was nearing the end of the evening, they were on the final hand and Patricia was now completely at ease with the writers, well, as at ease as anyone who didn't spend their days contemplating murder could be around those that did, regardless of the motivation or application of such thoughts.

"Oh, it was easy, I just needed to make him an offer he couldn't refuse." The writers all raised their eyebrows at that, Rick included. It sounded a lot like she was trying to imply something of a sexual nature was between them. He reminded himself of his earlier impression of there being a wild side to her.

"It isn't what you think." He clarified. "But I'm moving next week. So I'm afraid I won't be at anymore poker nights, except maybe when I come back to visit Alexis."

"You're not taking her with you?"

"Nah, she has school and her friends. Besides, I think mother would try to move with me if I tried that." They laughed, but it was a strained one this time. Each of them knew how much Alexis meant to Rick, except maybe Patricia, but she did know that she was important, as every daughter should be to her father. "All in." He said when it was his turn to place his final bet.

"Fold." Was repeated around the table by all except Patricia who called his bet. She was either very confident in her hand or hadn't learnt to read his tells. "Take him for all he's worth."

"Oh, I intend to." Her grin was confident but the way she held her cards close to her body told Rick that she was banking on him bluffing. He was suddenly glad that her job was fairly high up on the salary chart and that, despite what they told her, they had lowered the stakes to accommodate the difference in their expendable incomes.

When the time came they showed their hands and disappointed exclamations came from every throat but one. "Oh, thanks, guys. I appreciate the support." Rick commented sarcastically. He then turned back to Patricia. "Don't feel too bad, these guys have been trying for a long time to take me out on an all in. You'd have thought that in five years of regular playing they would have pinned my tells." He laughed heartily.

"I guess this is as good a time as any to call it a night." Connelly announced.

The other two authors nodded their agreement. "Sounds like a good idea." They thanked Rick and promised to make an appearance at his farewell.

"I guess I should head to bed, too. I have an early morning."

He looked at the clock and laughed. "I'll say." It was close to one o'clock.

"Anyway, I'll have the papers messengered to you at the start of business hours."

"Sounds good." He walked her to the elevator. "Thanks for coming tonight."

"Thank you for inviting me. I had fun."

"Yeah, me too. We'll have to play again some time."

"We certainly will." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, Rick."

"Good night, Patricia." She disappeared behind the elevator doors a moment later and he went to bed. It had been a long and tiring day.

* * *

It had been a frustrating day for Kate. They were out of leads on the case and she didn't anticipate any coming along soon. Ryan and Esposito were tight lipped about anything and everything relating to Castle and the man himself had his cell turned off.

Alexis had answered at the loft that morning and all she had said was that he had his day booked solid. It was a strange experience for her. Castle usually made a point of letting her know what he was doing when he wasn't around the precinct. Even stranger was that Alexis was usually open and bursting at the seams to tell her everything she could but this time it felt odd, like she was preoccupied with something, something she wasn't discussing with her. Kate had become a confidant for Alexis and it felt uncomfortable to suddenly be on the outside again.

She really wanted to know what was going on with her team and especially her partner, even if he wasn't a cop, as far as she was concerned the only differences between him and any other Detective was that the rest of them got paid to be there, had the training and the state to back them up and were allowed to carry a gun and a badge. It was coming up to one am when she clocked off for the night. It was far too late for her to call in and question him. That would have to wait until morning.

* * *

TBC...

A/N: I know it's short but I wasn't even going to update today until Migalouch bribed me. I hope you like the chapter, it's mostly a fill in so that you can see the passage of time. Also, I own nothing and all references to people are as characters, I don't know his author buddies and I haven't even read their books, except maybe one, I'm not sure. Regardless, nothing in this is fact (except that there are books written by the authors mentioned), that's why it's called fan FICTION. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Rick woke the following morning slightly groggy from the late night. He needed coffee. It was an early morning for him and he had set his alarm so that he could talk to Alexis before she went to school. He wanted to spend as much time with her before he left as possible. Dragging his feet behind him Rick entered the kitchen to find that his daughter was already dressed and enjoying her breakfast, reading the newspaper. "Anything interesting?"

Alexis jumped slightly at the sudden sound of his voice. "Not really..."

In that moment Rick felt his heart miss a beat. He snatched the paper from her hands and stared in horror at the headline. "Alexis, did you...?"

The stood and looked over his shoulder to see what startled him so much. "I thought you told them."

Rick threw the paper on the table as he ran for his phone. "Please pick up... Pick up damn it!" He ran to his room and threw on some jeans and the first shirt he found. Before Alexis could say anything he was running out the door calling back to her. "Rain check!" He hated ditching her on their prearranged morning get together but this was an emergency. If he didn't get there in time to intercept the paper the mockery would never end... Good thing England was in a different time zone, it might just provide some relief.

* * *

Kate walked into the precinct at seven o'clock as she did every morning. Technically she wasn't supposed to start until eight but she preferred the head start the extra time gave her on her paperwork and settling back into the case. Coffee in hand she sat down at her desk and examined the murder board, refreshing her mind on all the details she might have forgotten over night. She lost herself in the details and didn't even notice as her colleagues began to poor into the bull pen.

About an hour later the paper was dropped on her desk, she started having her paper delivered to her at work during the summer because it wasn't a particularly good idea to leave it out on her doorstep everyday. There were some occasions when she hadn't gone home at all and it was an even worse idea to leave multiple papers stacked up outside her door. "Thanks." She grunted in the barest acknowledgement of the action. The only reason it had drawn her from her thoughts was because the person delivering it had to reach across her to get to her desk.

No sooner had the sound escaped her than she heard the sound of heavy footsteps as someone ran, and she guessed they were frantic if the shouts were anything to go by. "Out of the way...! Excuse me...! Coming through!"

Looking in the direction of the noise she saw what was possibly the last thing she would have expected. Richard Castle came flying around the corner so fast that he didn't quite make the turn and had to rebound off the opposite wall. "Castle?"

He skidded to a stop beside her desk, clearly out of breath. Judging by his state of dress she could only guess that he had run all or most of the way. He opened his mouth to speak but had to stop in an attempt to catch his breath.

"What are you doing, Castle? Is everything alright?" She looked him up and down trying to find any sing of injury. '_Why else would he have run all this way?_' She thought to herself.

Rick spotted the newspaper on her desk, it was folded so she hadn't been reading it at that moment, but whether she already had or not he couldn't tell. It would have been so much easier if he just came out and told her, he knew that, but he couldn't do it. There were two possible reactions to what he wanted to say, a) she would be sad to see him go, he didn't want to hurt her so that wasn't really something he wanted to see, or b) she wouldn't care or might even be happy to see him go, that would just hurt him, also not something he wanted to have happen. From what he knew she hadn't even thought of him in more than passing while he had been away for the summer, so he put his money on option b).

He just wished that the tabloids would leave him alone. Once he found out whoever it was that gave them the story it would take more than a different time zone to protect them. Rick wasn't ready for this confrontation, or the inevitable teasing that would follow. Sure someone had managed to corner him, he was at their mercy, but that didn't mean they had to rib him for it, and he was absolutely certain that Beckett would find a reason and a way to do just that. He had to distract her long enough to swipe her paper and get rid of it, along with every other copy on the floor. '_This should be very interesting._" He thought in a self mocking way. He was distracted from his goal when she spoke again. "Castle, what happened?"

A stroke of brilliance hit him, he had never before been so grateful to have a mind that worked the his did before in his life. "Clarice the desert chef alibied out, right?"

"What?" Kate was not expecting his entrance to be a result of thinking about the case.

He stood a little straighter, now with a plan. "Clarice, the owner of the ice cream scoop used to kill Janice... Her alibi for the murder checked out, right?"

"Yeah, Castle, she was at her cousin's concert. What about her?" She was a little testy, she had forgotten to grab something to eat before heading to work, nor had she eaten dinner the night before, having been too exhausted to chew, and her stomach was going to great lengths to remind her of that fact.

"Did you check the dish washer?"

"What?" He had lost her.

"Chastity, the 'dish pig' or 'ceramic specialist' as some chefs call them." He couldn't help but grin, it had been a long time since he elicited the 'this better have a point' look from her like he was now, lately she'd just ignore him. "I don't remember seeing her name on the list of people with an alibi."

"That's because there was no need to ask for hers."

"What if there is?"

Kate scrunched her brow naturally when she thought and Rick had to reign in the smile that threatened to break through as he saw it again. "You think she did it? Why?"

"I didn't put it together at first but this morning I got thinking. What if someone put the scoop out to be washed and Clarice didn't knock it into the trash like she thought? What if Chastity took it from the dish sanitizer?"

"Why would she, Castle? No one mentioned any arguments or even closeness between Janice and Chastity, they didn't spend time together outside of work and even at work they were in two separate areas."

"That's the thing. Nothing seems to connect them-"

"So your evidence is that there is no evidence?"

He sighed. "Hear me out. Janice's wallet, which you found in her locker at work if I'm not mistaken, had a picture of her and some guy in it, right?"

"Yeah, her boyfriend..."

"While we were interviewing Chastity I noticed a picture of the same man in her locker."

Kate froze and he could almost see the cogs turning in her brain. "You're saying they were seeing the same guy?"

"Either that, Chastity had a thing for Janice's man or there was a locker mix up... think about it. Why would Janice go all the way to Central Park on her lunch break without her wallet?"

"I need to find Esposito, see if he's got anything on Chastity." Rick smiled to himself as she turned to hurry off in search of her team members. Before he lost his chance he swiped the paper from her desk and threw it in the garbage can just inside the break room as he followed her.

He spent the next few hours on edge, keeping his eyes peeled for any newspapers that might rear their ugly heads. He wanted to tell her when he was ready, only problem was that there was no guarantee that would be before he had to fly out.

* * *

Kate was making her calls to follow up on the alibi Chastity had offered. It was thin, she said she had run home for a quick meal and that her neighbors might be able to verify it. She was also trying to get a hold of the restaurant manager to find out exactly who's locker was who's.

Earlier in the day Kate had found that Castle had tried to call her cell at least ten times on his way in that morning, she was amazed she hadn't heard it. When she asked him why he had been so desperate to talk to her he shrugged it off as not wanting to waste time and risk losing their only real lead. He got just as evasive whenever she asked about what had happened to her newspaper, and every newspaper that was usually in the break room.

She was getting frustrated when a call came through on her cell. The caller ID said it was the morgue. Crossing her fingers she hoped for a lead, a clue anything really. "Beckett."

"Girl, why didn't you tell me Castle got a job in England?"

"Lanie, I don't have time to talk about... Wait... He what?"

* * *

A/N: I know, short again, but I have to ask your forgiveness as it's almost 2 in the morning and I'm falling asleep at the computer. I hope you like it. It's un-betaed, as always.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Still own nothing...

* * *

All that had registered in her mind when she started speaking had been that the call was about Castle. "Lanie, I don't have time to talk about..." Something was nagging at her. "Wait..." Her eyes widened in shock. There it was. "He what?" The silence on the other end was all the confirmation Kate needed that she hadn't been hearing things. "Where did you hear that? When...?"

"You really didn't know?" Lanie sounded surprised. "Didn't you read the paper this morning?"\

"What? No. I was about to when Castle showed up and..." The paper's disappearance suddenly made perfect sense, as did all the phone calls that morning. "He didn't..."

"Maybe it's not true. You know what they say, don't believe everything you read."

"Huh?" Kate was momentarily confused. "No, Lanie, Castle stole my paper. Along with every other paper on this floor it seems."

"Wow, girl." Lanie was impressed and she didn't seem to be trying to hide it. "Writer boy sure went to a lot of trouble to stop you from reading this article."

Just as she was about to reply Kate heard the guilty party talking all the way from the break room. "I've got to go, Lanie... but before I do. What does the article say?"

Lanie summarized the article for her before being dragged away from the phone for a call out. They said their good byes, Kate promising to catch her up on the details after she confronted Castle, and hung up. She walked over to the break room. Castle's voice was raised, that much she had been able to determine from the fact that she could hear him at her desk. Now she was able to make out the words of his argument, and his tone left no doubt in her mind that it was, in fact, an argument. "I don't give a stuff about keeping your source's identity private! I want a name!" There was a pause. "Damn it, Terri, just give me the name or there will be no more interviews, no more hot tips and definitely no more tickets to launch parties or any parties for that matter!" Castle picked up a piece of fruit and almost threw it against the wall but stopped mid swing as he turned to see Kate in the doorway. "Beckett?" His gaze quickly scanned the room around him before he spoke into the phone again. "I have to go, Terri... but this isn't over, not by a long shot." He hit the end call button and dropped the phone back into his pocket. "What's up?"

"Is there something you want to tell me, Castle? Anything at all?" It took all the control she had not to just hoe into him.

He looked on edge. "Not that I can think of." His smile was obviously forced and she could see that he was holding himself back from literally running out of the room.

"Really? There isn't even the smallest piece of information you can think of that I maybe ought to know about?" She felt her eyebrow go up as she ended the question.

"I didn't say that. I said that there is nothing I want to tell you." His annoying, 'you can't beat me' grin filled his face and she wanted nothing more than to knock it off again.

"Hmm... So you'd rather Lanie be the one to tell me? Or the newspapers, perhaps?" That definitely wiped the grin off his smug face. "You were planning on waiting until you were at the airport to tell me? Or to just let Alexis do it for you after you had left?"

Rick stood there stunned. "Lanie told you didn't she?" He had gotten rid of the newspapers so she hadn't read it herself. The other detectives hadn't even noticed his name or face in he papers before they had given them to him, or at least none of them mentioned it and Esposito and Ryan had agreed to let him tell her. Lanie was the only other option.

"You're not even denying it?" Kate almost screamed. The intensity of the betrayal she felt surprised her, even after the events of the summer and the short while he had been back. It hurt, a lot. "What did you think, Castle? That I wouldn't find out!"

"I was going to tell you."

"When? When were you going to tell me, Castle? I'm dying to find out where I rank on your 'need to know' list. Because it seems clear to me that I'm not very high up there." She fought with herself to hold it together long enough to subdue the tears that were welling in her eyes.

Rick stepped back at her words. It felt to him like a physical blow. "What...?" He couldn't believe it. "That's what you think?" He walked towards her without conscious thought. "Kate, it's not like that."

"_Don't_ call me Kate." She warned. She swiped his hands away as he had begun to reach towards her. "Only my friends call me Kate." Fighting the tears was proving more difficult than she thought.

Rick knew that he had hurt her. It didn't take a genius to see it. What he wanted her to understand was that the reason he hadn't told her was that for some reason telling her would make it real. Not like telling Alexis, he would still see her whenever it was possible and would be in constant contact, though it had still made him cry that night. However, with Kate he would have no excuse to hide behind in order to keep her in his life. Either he would have to come forward and tell her how he felt about her and risk the rejection he was almost certain would come his way or pretend that it didn't tear his heart out to leave again, knowing that he was walking away from the one woman capable of surprising him daily, just by being herself. It was more a matter of when he could make himself tell her than of when he chose to. Besides, it wasn't really even his choice to go, any choice in the matter had been taken off the table when Patricia mentioned Alexis' dreams. He took a deep breath. "I can't explain why I didn't tell you... but please, don't shut me out again." Kate had turned to walk away and he automatically grabbed her arm.

Nothing had prepared her for what she did then. It wasn't even a conscious reaction. She was so lost in the betrayal and her heartache that she didn't know what she was doing until she heard the crack and felt his face give way under her open hand. She had slapped him. Kate Beckett had just slapped Richard Castle so hard that his jaw literally hit the floor, granted so did the rest of him. Gasping at the thought of her action she turned and walked with false calm to the elevator. No one else needed to know that she was fleeing to the comfort that only Lanie could provide her in that moment. Every one else seemed to be on Castle's side.

Lying on the ground Rick clasped his hand to his face. He couldn't bring himself to get up. None of what had just happened made any sense to him. Beckett hated him, that was clear by the force of her slap, but why would she have been upset about him not telling her he was leaving, she should have been too thrilled about him leaving to care about when or how she found out. He wasn't even game to consider that she had, in fact, struck him. It just didn't seem real. Not even the blood pooling in his mouth and dripping from his lip could convince him that she had lost her calm, especially after the way she had strolled out of the room so casually.

Several Detectives gathered around him, two of them were trying to help him to his feet. "Castle, what happened?" Most of them had seen her hit him after he grabbed her arm but they had also seen the pleading look on his face as she turned to walk away. They knew he hadn't been threatening her and no one there could understand why the hardest Detective there had actually struck the author.

He eventually replied. "Nothing happened." He regretted speaking the moment he opened his mouth because blood began to spill out and it felt like the entire side of his face was on fire. Where he had hit his head on the ground when he fell ached, but it was dull, the more annoying of the two types of pain. He could handle sharp pain better, especially over a period of time, but dull pain seemed to have no definable presence. Sharp pain stays at the front of the mind, you know what hurts, why it hurts and an ice pack usually helps. Dull pain eats away at the back of the mind, ever present but lurking in the shadows, the best way to deal with that kind of pain is to do what ever makes it hurt the most, turning it into a stabbing agony as much as possible. It was more infuriating if your only relief was to make it worse.

"Come on, lets get you cleaned up." Captain Montgomery was the one to speak. Rick hadn't even seen him enter the room. He lead him over to a seat then gave him an ice pack for his head and a towel for the blood. "What happened in here, anyway?"

Rick spoke again, this time holding the towel so that it caught what blood oozed out. "Nothing."

"A guy doesn't end up on the floor bleeding for no reason. Besides that hand print on your face tells me a different story." He leveled his gaze on him. "Who hit you, Castle?" He was suddenly very serious and Rick understood why he was the one in charge of the large number of Detectives in that devision.

"It doesn't matter..." Mopping up the blood he paused, only continuing at Roy's persistent glare. "I'm not pressing charges." The glare continued. "Lanie told Beckett that I'm leaving."

The Captain almost laughed. "And you took it up with the fiery ME without backup...? Impressive by stupid." Rick shook his head and Roy's eyes hardened. "Beckett struck you?" He nodded. "Right." Rick knew how much Roy cared about Kate and wasn't willing to let himself become a sore spot.

"It was my fault, Roy. I shouldn't have stopped her... I should never have grabbed her arm. I know she's tightly strung lately and should have seen it coming."

Roy saw right through what he was doing. "It's not your fault, Rick. It's Beckett... No one would have seen that coming... But even if it was that doesn't excuse her behavior, unless she saw you as a threat to her person, which I doubt she did."

"Thanks." Rick tried to show his sarcasm in a distorted smile but it came out a grimace as the pain flared up again. "I'm going to clean this up and head home." He was about to kneel down to clean the blood off the floor with his cloth but Roy grabbed his arm.

"It's okay, Castle. I've got this. You go see a doctor about that face of yours, that bleeding doesn't look to be slowing any time soon." Rick nodded his appreciation and headed out the door. He was now more determined than before to find out who leaked his secret to the press.

* * *

Rick had only just entered his apartment in need of a good sleep, whether it was a local anesthetic or a general one he always got drowsy after having it in his system, when his phone rang. He answered it, forgetting that he still couldn't talk. All that came out was a muffled "Ouch!"

"Castle? Are you alright...? I tried calling before but you didn't answer your cell."

Recognizing the Captain's voice he tried to reply again and was rewarded with nothing but pain and an unintelligible few words. He gave up quickly and text messaged Roy's cell. '**Can't talk. Am fine, thanks.**'

"Can't talk...? That doesn't sound like you're fine to me, Castle. What's the damage?"

**'Molar out, 4 stitches.'** Was his reply. He didn't mention the fact that the molar had not been taken out by the dentist but had been knocked out. When he thought about it it was an impressive slap, if it hadn't been for the hand print on his face the dentist would have been convinced a big guy had punched him. He made a mental note to never get on Beckett's bad side again, not that he'd have the chance of course, it was obvious she didn't want to see him and he wasn't going to impose his company on her again, not while he wanted to live.

"Ouch. She certainly did a number on you." He wasn't sure what it was but there was something disapproving that he hid, unsuccessfully, behind his laughter.

**'I'll live. I have 2 go. Anesthetic + me = bad mix.'**

Roy laughed again. "If you need anything call or text me."

**'K bye'**

"See you, Castle."

* * *

Kate felt horrible. She was still disgusted with herself for having struck Castle, especially without having waited to hear what he had to say. He had been pleading with her, that much she knew. Visiting Lanie's morgue was not proving to be as soothing as she had hoped. Lanie was still out at a scene so she was on her own in the waiting room. Being let to think about all the possible consequences of what she had done, and who she had done it to, was not her idea of calming. Just as she was about to give up and leave Lanie walked in directing the man pushing the gurney. "Kate?" She was understandably surprised to see the Detective there.

Kate was well aware of the man who was still in the room so she kept it short and vague."There are some details I want to run by you."

"Oh, okay. You can tell me while I do the initial work on Mr. Alberta, there." She indicated the body disappearing into the examination room. They went inside as the man left. "So, spill."

Kate told her what had happened. "Then I just walked away." It seemed like she said it all in the one breath because when she finished her lungs felt as empty as they ever had.

Lanie, who had been extremely quiet the whole time, spoke up. "Wait. Go back to the part where _you slapped him_." She almost yelled the last three words. Kate dropped her head to her hands. She didn't really want to think about that just then. "Listen, Kate, from what you just told me, I can tell you don't want him to go..."

"What's your point, Lanie?"

"Hitting him isn't exactly the best way to keep him around."

All the mixed emotions came into play in the next sentence as she shouted her response. "Don't you think I know that?" No one needed to tell her that, she was painfully aware that she had done one of the few things guaranteed to make it impossible for her to tell him how she felt about it and have him believe her. "I'm not stupid!"

"I never said you were!" Kate stopped and looked at her friend, waiting for more. "I'm sure it's not completely hopeless... You should probably think about what it is you want and how you feel about the whole situation before you try to talk to him. Maybe you can still work things out."

Kate smiled. Unbeknown to Lanie, all Kate had really needed in that moment was someone to tell her that not everything was lost. "He's not going to want to see me again, is he?" She was once again unsure.

Lanie smiled a sad but reassuring smile. "It's Castle... Unless you did some permanent damage with that slap of yours I doubt he'll stay away long."

* * *

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

The next day came too quickly for Kate. She wanted to see Castle, to find out what he had been trying to say, but she didn't want to face her colleagues, at least not the ones that knew about her knocking him to the ground, and she was pretty sure that now included every member of the homicide division. It definitely included Captain Montgomery, there was no way she could think of that he wouldn't know, the man had eyes and ears in every corner of the place.

Just walking through the doors proved to be one of the hardest things she had to do. Running home seemed like a great idea to her, given all the looks she was getting it would probably have looked like a good idea to any one in her shoes. She was seriously considering that as an option when the Captain stepped out of his office and called her in. She followed obediently, almost certain that he was going to assign her to desk duty until Castle decided whether or not he was pressing charges. She stood silently waiting for him to speak. Only after a few minutes of eying her did he do so. "I saw some of your handy work in the break room yesterday, Detective."

Immediately she met his eyes. "Sir, about that-"

His voice went from casual to stern in the space of a blink. "You're damned lucky he isn't pressing charges, Detective!"

Her eyes dropped from his gaze, at his tone, ashamed of what she did. They shot back up again the second his words registered. "He's not-"

He cut her off, clearly angry. "If I so much as hear of you stepping out of line again I will have your badge!" Not the turn around she was expecting. If anything it should be Castle wanting to press charges and the Captain convincing him otherwise, after all it wasn't the Captain she had hit. "Do you understand me, Detective? This is your second chance. Don't screw it up!"

Kate hung her head, again realizing that the one man to have cared about her as deeply as she had dreamed of was the one man she had pushed the furthest away. He was moving to another country and instead of asking him to stay she had knocked him to the ground. Again she remembered the loud crack that had echoed through the room as her hand connected with his face. She winced at the memory. If the stinging of her hand was anything to go by she didn't want to know how much it had hurt him. "Yes, sir." He nodded stiffly, his jaw clenched and hands in fists by his side. She waited a moment for him to cool down before asking her question. "He really isn't pressing charges?"

A sardonic laugh escaped his throat at his internal musings. "He text messaged me this morning asking me to withhold punishment of my own too." He looked at her carefully before continuing more softly. "He cares about you, Kate. More than you think... If your way of showing how you feel about that is to make him bleed... all I can say is that maybe it's not such a bad thing that he's going to England next week."

The thought of his leaving being a good thing because it took him away from her smarted even more than the fact that he hadn't told her. She was suddenly determined to prove that, despite what most people seemed to think, she was as good for him as he was for her. No sooner had she had that thought than it occurred to her that she had missed an important part of what he had just said. "Castle was _bleeding_?" She knew she had slapped him hard, but not that hard.

Montgomery actually smiled at that. "He texted that he's fine... just a few stitches and a missing tooth. I have to say, the man handles blood well."

She couldn't think of anything to say. The impact had been so bad that he lost a tooth and needed stitches. She had felt bad before but now she just felt down right sick. Kate felt the sudden need to see him and make sure he was alright for herself.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so really short chapter but hey, that's what you get when I give you two in a two hour window. So smile and be happy. I'll update as often as I can, like I always do, and to those of you wondering what is going on with 'Changing Tracks' fear not, I have the next chapter pulling at my mind and will get it up soon, but I start placement this week and so there goes my Fridays off. Sorry, but it will inevitably impact on my FF time.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: No disrespect is intended to anyone. The comments in this chapter, as with all my writing, are purely one side of a multi-dimensional coin. I'm sorry it this offends anyone or brings up a painful topic. I think you will all know to what I'm referring when you read it.**

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The day went by slowly. Every ding of the elevator found Kate's head darting around in search of Castle's familiar figure. Much to her concern and eventually annoyance, she wasn't sure which was the prevailing emotion, each glance was met with disappointment. No one was particularly eager to approach her, even Ryan and Esposito kept their distance. More than once she considered having the guys cover for her so that she could go check up on Castle and offer him an apology. She was painfully aware of the nagging feeling that every moment she wasted procrastinating the inevitable meeting was doing nothing but causing more damage. As she considered that she realised that their meeting wasn't inevitable, it was quite the opposite. If he chose to he could easily avoid her for the week and a half he had left in the country and then there would be nothing she could do about it. He would be gone and odds were he wouldn't be coming back, not permanently. He would probably stay in Oxford to be with Alexis.

Time seemed to slow down even more when the clock told her that there was only two more hours to her shift. It seemed like an entire day had filled the minutes of the last half hour of her shift. When the minute hand hit the hour she was out of her chair and scooping her things into her arms just in time to avoid leaving them behind as she broke into a run. If she was fast enough she could make it to the elevator before the doors closed.

A door had never been so intimidating before. Just the sight of this wooden barrier had Kate second guessing her sprint up the stairs. The elevator had taken too long. Now the wait didn't look so bad. She could have used the time it would have provided for her to again rethink the approach she wanted to take. Pushing that thought from her mind she returned her attention to the immediate issue, getting past that hefty barricade between the Castle home and the outside world, which she hated to consider included her in that moment. There was a time when she had felt like a part of their family, things had changed and it felt cold and lonely to find herself on the outside once again. Gathering her courage she knocked, finally brave enough to face the man she needed to see more than anything. Her uncertainty was hard to parallel when the door opened to reveal a slight red head with an undeniably Castle grin plastered on her face. "Alexis?"

"Detective Beckett! Come on in."

"Uhh... Thanks?" If there was one thing Kate had learnt when dealing with Castle, it was to never underestimate him and by the mirroring of his grin on the young girl's face she was fairly sure that the rule applied to his daughter as well. With that in mind she began visually searching the room for any sign that he was about to jump out at her from around a corner, covered in flashing lights and carrying a laser tag gun. She wouldn't put it past them to set her up for an ambush as part of their revenge. Of course there was nothing they could do to her overtly, but the awkwardness that situation could cause would probably be right up their ally.

Alexis must have noticed her anxious search because she immediately addressed the issue at hand. "Dad's not here but he shouldn't be too much longer. You're welcome to stay... Is there anything I can do for you? Are you thirsty or hungry?" The teen indicated a spot on the sofa, silently inviting her to sit and make herself comfortable.

"I'm fine, thank you." Another brief glance around confirmed that Castle was, indeed, not at home. "Book party?" It wasn't really out of any desire to know his whereabouts that she asked, more to get an idea of the state he would be in when he arrived back. She wasn't sure she could deal with a drunk Castle at that moment.

Alexis laughed, there was clearly something funny about what she had just said but Kate couldn't think of what it was. "A party? With his mouth in the state it's in?" She laughed again and it suddenly seemed obvious how ridiculous it would have been for him to try to socialize with stitches in his mouth. The thought made her wince again as she was reminded of the fact that it was her that put those stitches in his mouth, not that she was the one stitching him up, but they wouldn't have been needed if it wasn't for her. "No, he's giving _Patricia_ his signed contract."

She forced a bravado she wasn't feeling. The deed really was done. He was going and she probably could have stopped it had she keep her emotions under control. There was no point in talking about it with Alexis, not now, so she decided to leave that topic, along with the unprecedented spite she had heard in her voice when she spoke the woman's name. "What exactly is the state of his mouth? I wasn't told much."

"You mean you don't know?" Kate saw the confusion on the girl's face. "That's funny. Dad told me that you aren't letting him follow you until the stitches come out, which is never because he leaves for England the day after..." She trailed off and Kate knew that she wasn't happy about him moving to England by the tone.

Then it dawned on her. She had been so wrapped up in how _she_ felt about him leaving that she never stopped to consider the impact on Alexis, aside from the short while when it was still hearsay from a newspaper, before Castle had confirmed it for her. "You're staying?"

"Yeah, he doesn't want to interrupt my studies... He promised to contact me every day and visit when he can though... so that's something." Alexis was almost crying and it broke Kate's heart. She had asked in that way, pretending to not know that he was leaving her behind, to see for herself just how much this was affecting the teenager before her. Changing the subject to one she seemed only slightly more at ease discussing she asked a question in return. "How exactly did Dad wind up getting hit? He said that you were out following a lead and a guy got by you and hit him when he got in the way of his attempt to escape."

Kate wasn't sure what to say. She remembered Castle telling her that he always told his daughter the truth, she had even seen them together on the odd occasion when he had been brutally honest with her, it was just one more thing she had always admired about their relationship, and here he was lying to Alexis to protect her standing in the girl's eyes. It was yet another example of how much he cared about her. That brought the guilt back to full force. "Alexis..."

"Dad doesn't usually lie to me. He says that if he lied to me he wouldn't have the right to expect full honesty from me... But the thing is that..." It was as if Alexis had suddenly realised that she probably shouldn't be discussing it with Kate.

"'The thing is...?'" Kate prompted.

Inexplicably more sure of herself Alexis continued. "The bruise on his face doesn't look like he got punched by a large man. It looks like... like he was slapped by a woman."

"What makes you say that?" Kate was surprised by the observation and a little nervous about how much Alexis had inferred from it.

"You'll understand when you see it." Just then they heard a key in the door and it opened to reveal an oddly unsurprised looking Richard Castle. It was almost as though he knew Kate was there. "Dad!" Alexis ran to her father and threw her arms around him as though he had been gone for years. He had already braced for the impact. It had become fairly common practice for his daughter to hold onto him at every possible opportunity since he announced his imminent departure.

Rick wrapped his spare arm around Alexis' shoulders. He was carrying a bag full of books and booklets in his other. "Hey, Pumpkin." He kissed the top of her head quickly. "Hello Detective." He sounded uncharacteristically cold when he addressed her.

Kate had to hold back a gasp at the sight of him. The welted bruise on the side of his face was a very distinct hand print. Alexis was right, it wasn't hard to identify it as female in origin. Even from where she was standing she could see one of the stitches on his lip and the darker bruising that indicated where the others had been needed, though she couldn't see them because they were inside his mouth.

Taking advantage of her stunned silence Rick addressed his daughter again. "Why don't you get diner started while Detective Beckett and I talk in my office?" It was clearly not a suggestion and when Alexis tried to protest all it took was a glance at his face for her to kill the words in her mouth and do as he said, though she was still hesitant to let go of him. Without another word Rick lead Kate into his office. He closed the door behind them and turned to face her. "What can I do for you, Detective?" It was only when they were alone that Kate noticed the slight wince when he spoke. He was in pain and he couldn't hide it despite his obvious attempts.

Kate breathed in deeply. "I'm sorry." She had tried to maintain eye contact but that hadn't lasted past the word 'I'. His silence was enough to draw her eyes back to his. Her awkwardness was replaced by an overwhelming mixture of emotions. There were tears in his eyes and his gaze was unwavering as he looked right back.

Rick couldn't believe that she had just come out and apologized. He couldn't remember her ever having sincerely apologized to him, for anything. His eyes stung as tears welled up. There was Kate Beckett, the woman he loved second only to his daughter and mother, showing him that she cared enough about him to seek him out to admit that she had done something wrong, finally letting him in to her heart, and he was walking away. He was angry that she had hurt him in the first place, scared that she was only apologizing out of a sense of duty or because Montgomery told her to, hopeful and touched that she was, in fact, apologizing, horrified that if he opened his mouth he would screw it up or send her running, and heart broken that when she was at her most vulnerable he had no choice but to dash her hopes of a true reconciliation.

"I know I have no right to expect you to just forgive me in the blink of an eye, but I am really sorry." He couldn't help but think that repairing the damage between them would take weeks, if not months and he was clearly not going to be around that long. He couldn't think of a time he had hated himself more.

Sudden anger flared in him at the thought that she had treated him with little other than contempt since he returned from his summer vacation and there she was making him feel guilty for looking out for himself and his family. He fought back the tears that were threatening to escape and stepped back towards the door, effectively cutting off her attempt to take his hand in support. "Sorry for what, Detective? As far as I can see you've done nothing but deal with me in a completely honest way. You're not interested in having me around, we're not friends and I get it... But despite all of that, I would appreciate it if you would allow a small amendment to the promise I extracted from you a few months ago." At her puzzled and hurt expression he hurried on to prevent it from shutting him up then. "I know you said you'd look out for Alexis if something were to happen to me but I was hoping you'd agree to step into that role earlier. I'm leaving Alexis here in New York when I go to Oxford and while Mother will be doing most of the work and the guys have agreed to help out where they can I'd feel better knowing you were in on it too." She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off. "She looks up to you and you're a pretty sensible person... regardless of how you feel about me I know that you care about Alexis to some extent, so before you say no just think about it." He forced a smile. "On the up side you wont have to deal with me..." Her confused expression caused him to elaborate. "I'll get my updates from the guys and Mother, you can pretend I don't even exist."

Kate didn't know what to say. So many things needed to be said, so many secrets cried to be voiced, that she couldn't function. He thought that she didn't care about him at all, despite her showing up at his home, after everything they had been through together he was convinced she didn't want him around. As she thought about that it once again occurred to her that she hadn't been the most supportive of him since his return, nor had she given him any real reason to think that she liked him let alone cared that he was alive in a number of months. She had actually given him good reason to suspect what he clearly did. Things had become disastrously messy between them. "Castle..."

"Please, just think about it. It's for Alexis more than for me. She's the one who'll need the support and someone to go to when things go wrong... It's only for a year, until she goes to College. Then you won't have to worry about us Castles ever again." He smiled a forced half smile as the entire left side of his face burned when his muscles tensed and he wasn't supposed to stretch the skin where the stitches were. "Now, was there anything else I can do for you before I get back to my preparations?" He turned to open the door but she spoke up.

"Is it true?" He looked at her confusedly. "That you've already signed the contract?"

He let out a sarcastic laugh. "That depends. Are you talking about the one where I signed away the last year I have with my daughter before she leaves for college, the one that says I will continue to provide new books to my publisher at a 'reasonable' pace or one of the numerous others?" He laughed again. "Because the answer is probably yes, I can't even remember half the things I've signed in the past few days."

She was surprised at the bitterness in his voice when he said that. "If you are so against taking this job why did you do it?" She was getting angry too, there was no reason for him to be mad at her for his predicament and she had apologized for hitting him. He wasn't being himself. Usually he'd acknowledge her apology with some form of acceptance or consideration for how hard it was for her to give it, he'd find a light side to even the most gruesome of murders or painful circumstances. She had only seen him this serious when she had a serial killer after her and he blamed himself. But it was too much for her to look at this from his perspective in that moment, all she wanted to do was tell him how she felt and she couldn't even do that because he wasn't being the Castle that she loved. Okay, using the word love was a bit surprising, even in her own head, but he didn't give her the time to consider the implications of that.

"Because that's what you wanted!" They were both taken off guard by how vehement his reply had been. Rick's words had broken a dam for him and so he let it spill. "I've seen the looks you give me! I've heard what you say when you think I can't hear you! You all think that I'm some little child that never grew up, that I don't understand how important some things are, that I'm a bad father! Well, I've got news for you, I love my daughter! You have no idea how hard it is to be a single father! I've had to watch my daughter go through the heartaches that I had as a child. I swore I'd protect her from that! The world is a cruel and painful place. I put on a brave face. I laugh about it and she sleeps well at night!" He spun away from her and slammed his fist into the door. "You think that being a homicide Detective you've seen the worst of humanity. Wrong! Worse than seeing people killing each other is watching person after person, hurt after hurt, take away the joy in a child's eyes, piece by piece. Leaving an overly cautious teenage girl who can no longer look at the world with wonder but fear and suspicion! What murder does to the families is far worse than what happens to the victims. We are the ones left to live through the pain, barely coping from day to day. They get to leave it all behind while we grieve! You of all people should know that!" He turned back to face her. "My approach doesn't work anymore, Beckett! All I have left is to look after my family how I can, and now that means moving to England and acting the part of the grown man."

"What about Nikki Heat?" Kate barely managed to choke out her question, too afraid of what he might say.

"What about her?" He was confused. It didn't make sense that of everything he had just said she found her way to thinking of his character.

"You still have Nikki. You still have me, Rick." She spoke softly. Her own tears were brimming in her eyes despite his inability to see them through his.

"You've said it often enough, Beckett. That whole world is fiction, this is reality... and reality bites." He walked out them, leaving her to fight back her emotions and consider everything he had just said.

When she had regained her composure Kate finally realised that his study was almost completely empty, what was once on the walls, shelves or his desk was now in boxes beside the wall. She emerged from his office to find him on the phone, he was swearing and the odd mention of poker came up. Alexis noticed her and approached slowly. Deciding to save herself the inevitably painful conversation Kate spoke. "I have to get going, but I'll check in on you soon to see how you're going with everything. If you need to talk about anything or just want some company give me a call, that offer doesn't expire when your dad leaves either." She hugged the teen quickly and walked towards the door, needing the fresh evening air to clear her head some more, too much had been said that she hadn't expected to hear. "Tell your dad I said goodbye for now." The teen nodded but let her walk away.


	9. Chapter 9

The following few days went by in a flash of packing, business calls and meetings. For Rick it was enough to remind him why he had left that life behind him the moment he was confident his book sales could support him long term. Unfortunately he had no choice. Richard Castle had rejoined the rat race. His time was now so consumed by work and preparing to officially start work that he could barely stay awake during his meetings. His days were filled with preparations, his evenings devoted to enjoying what he had left of Alexis' company and his nights were dedicated to studying and familiarizing himself with the policies and procedures of Oxford University as well as the course curriculum for the courses he would be mentoring the students through.

There had been no further attempts made by Beckett to contact him, though she spoke to Alexis on the phone a few times and Alexis being who she was had offered to put her father on. The first time Beckett had come up with some excuse to say no, Alexis said something about a new lead coming up. The next time she apparently said yes because Alexis brought him the phone, only to find that he was literally buried under a fallen stack of boxes. He came out of it alright but he was pretty sure that Beckett had thought they were lying because after that she had gone back to finding excuses to go before Alexis could even ask. He didn't mind as much as he thought he would. It saved him the awkward phone conversations that would have to last at least five minutes to satisfy the social definition of a civil conversation. He wanted to hear her voice, her laugh, he wanted things to go back to the way they had been before Demming, before he realised how much he cared about Kate Beckett. Whatever they would say in those awkward conversations were things he'd rather were not said. There were only two possible outcomes. First, and rather less likely, was that she would confess to feeling some attachment to him and not want him to go, that would break him. He had signed the contract and even bought a house over there, it was far too late, and had she spoken up earlier he probably still would have gone, no matter how much he cared for Beckett, he loved Alexis more and would never risk her dreams or education for anything. The second and more likely out come would be that she would be uninterested in their conversations, confirming that she didn't really care that he was leaving, only that she wanted to be in the know about such things when it came to the people she worked so closely with. Either way, he would rather not face the words or their meanings.

He had just finished helping the removalists out with the last of the boxes he was having shipped over when a messenger arrived at his building, handing an envelope to his doorman for him. The doorman called him over and he signed for it directly. Upon opening it he found the invitations he had been waiting for.

* * *

Kate was swamped, she had been that way for a few days, she called Alexis everyday, knowing that this was probably the hardest few days the girl had been forced to live through she was willing to do some additional overtime to keep up to date with her work. Her father was leaving the country, moving away and leaving her behind. Kate couldn't imagine that they were spending much time together and her conversations with Alexis had confirmed that. Moving was a very involved activity and so was an overseas trip, she didn't want to think about how busy he was combining the two. She felt bad for Alexis, she was very close to her father and Kate could see that is was destroying her to have to say good bye. All this only served to increase the guilt Kate felt about how she had treated Castle. Apparently her team weren't the only ones who had been unforgiving and harsh towards him when he needed support. Her conversations with Alexis opened her eyes to the reality of what he had been going through since his ex-wife's murder. The most surprising revelation she had received was that even Alexis had been giving him a hard time about his seeming inability to take anything seriously. The teen had even told her, in great detail, during one of their more revealing conversations about the fight she had had with her father the day before his first meeting with Patricia. It turned out that she had been uncharacteristically explicit about how unhappy she was to have him as a father, how much she wished he was 'a normal Dad' and how much she would rather live with her mother and her new boyfriend. Of course, Alexis admitted to having said what she did out of a desire to hurt him, not because they were true. In hind sight they could both see that she had succeeded, more so than she had meant to.

It was as she considered this that Castle stepped off the elevator and walked over to her desk. "Hey." He said by way of greeting.

"Hey." She said back, a question and her surprise at his sudden appearance in her voice.

"I just wanted to give you this in person." He handed her one of the invitation he had recently received.

"Thanks, Castle." She took the invitation, unsure of what it was for or how she should respond.

He saw the apprehension in her eyes. "It's for my farewell party..." She looked down at the piece of paper in her hand. She knew she should say something, but she didn't know what. "You don't have to come, if you don't want to. There will be lots of reporters and photographers, so I'll understand perfectly if you don't." He gave her the out that he was sure she was looking for. But was surprised when she turned it down.

"No!" She said quickly. The last thing she wanted right then was for him to think that she didn't even want to say goodbye. At his surprise she brought her voice back to normal. "No, I'll be there." He seemed to relax for a moment and that made her smile. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, unless..." She almost kicked herself as she realised what she had been about to say.

"Unless...?" He seemed eager to know, so eager, in fact, that she let herself tell him what she would normally have kept to herself. Besides, after so much damage to their relationship it might even help more than hinder their reconciliation.

"I wouldn't miss it unless... that meant that you were staying."

The world seemed to stop for Rick as his mind raced. Was he reading too much into her words? Was he hearing things? "Uh..." He needed some clarification before he spoke. The wrong response could prove disastrous.

Kate laughed at the dear in the headlights expression on his face, he looked the way she felt. "Don't look so worried, Castle. We're going to miss you around here, and I mean that." He stood still, unable to think or move. Kate took the opportunity and her new found courage to stand from her chair, walk around the desk and approach him. When she was only a foot from him she lowered her voice so that it was just loud enough for him to hear, but not for anyone else to. "Last time we spoke you said that you'd like me to take care of Alexis, despite how I feel about you. Exactly how do you think I feel about you?"

Rick swallowed, hard. She was now close enough for him to smell the cherries of her perfume. His body longed for him to close the gap between them. Instead he let his head take the lead. "I don't know that this is the right time or place to discuss this."

Stepping closer, not willing to let what was perhaps her last chance escape her, Kate pressed further. "How do you think I feel about you?"

He took a deep breath. "Honestly?" She nodded while she unconsciously bit her lower lip. "Since I got back from the Hamptons I've been under the impression that none of you want me here..." He trailed off, telling Kate that there was more that he wasn't saying.

"And what about now?" She wanted to pull away as his eyes flickered to look behind her, checking that they were not being watched, he was happy to find that they were alone. His maintained eye contact had been a reassurance to her that she was pushing in the right direction. The breaking of that contact threatened to be her undoing. She would have taken that step backwards had he not spoken when he did.

"Right now I'm not so sure." Rick admitted quietly.

Regaining her confidence from his answer she inched forward. "Good answer."

He was about to lean in to close the ever decreasing gap between them when he stopped himself. "I can't do this." He stepped back, breaking the spell that had them bound only moments ago.

Her head bowed as her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment at what had just happened. "Why?"

He used his thumb to tilt her head up to make eye contact again. "Because I am moving to England for a year and you mean too much for me to let this be a flash in the pan." Hope filled her eyes, begging him to continue. "I want whatever happens between us to be a result of us giving it everything we have, I don't want to set us up to fail."

"Does this mean you're expecting something to happen?" The tease had returned to her voice.

He was a little too nervous to pick up on it though. "If I'm misunderstanding or over stepping here, let me know now..."

She laughed. "No, Castle, you're not." She leaned in and kissed him quickly on the cheek. "But I don't want to wait a year to figure out what is between us."

Understanding what she was getting at he realised that he didn't want to wait that long either. "I'll tell you what, why don't you come over to my place for dinner tonight and we'll thrash out all the details. We can work out what we want to do until I come back."

"So there's no way I can convince you to stay?"

A sad smile touched his lips, replacing the broad grin that had filled his face from the second he realised she was really trying to push them closer together. "I'm sorry, but no." As her face fell he felt the need to explain. So explain he did. He told her of his first conversation with Patricia and his reasons for leaving. He discussed his contract and they made arrangements for their dinner that night. When they parted for the afternoon he gave her the invites for Lanie, Ryan, Esposito and Captain Montgomery to give to them. He also gave her a kiss on the cheek then walked back to the elevator.

* * *

TBC...

A/N: Sorry everyone, there's maybe one more chapter of this to go. At least I've given you something of a happy ending. :) Then again, I always give you a happy ending. I think I might make you cry with the next one, just becase I can. ;) I'll let you decide. If I get double digit reviews for this chapter before I start the next one, I'll make it happy. If we're still in singles... well let's just say that it will be more painful for you than for me. :

As a side note, I wasn't going to write this chapter for a few days but stevieLUVSAlex fulfilled their part of the bargain so I had to do my part. :D Anyone who was waiting for this update should really thank stevieLUVSAlex because they read and reviewed pretty much every chapter of my story 'Changing Tracks' in one day to get this chapter. And let me tell you, there are a lot of long chapters in there. Now, I'm off to save my sister from the torment that is working at Maccas... that clown creeps me out. No one is that happy... then again that's what my friends say about us childcare workers, so... Also, what's with all that make up? I don't understand the need for that.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

* * *

Rick lay awake watching the shadows play across his bedroom roof. He hadn't been able to stop by the precinct or spend any time with his friends since the dinner he had with Kate and Alexis. Too many things had demanded his attention and Alexis was still his priority, so when he wasn't getting everything ready he was attached to Alexis by the hip, even when he was reading the course material she was right there. He had woken up once or twice to find her curled up beside him on the couch after a late night study session.

Thinking back to the dinner they had shared he contemplated all that had happened. They had organised that Alexis would visit him in her summer break and that Beckett would join them for the second half of said break and every holiday they had that he didn't, though Beckett wouldn't be able to make it for half of them. Rick was to come home for every other holiday he got. They decided to leave the door open for visits between times when any of them got the chance and Beckett agreed to fill in for him on special occasions, which just happened to include screening any new boyfriends Alexis found. The thought of Beckett being there was a huge relief to him. One of the best parts of the evening for Rick had been when Kate pulled him aside and in no uncertain terms told him that he was hers, just like she was his, and that she hadn't broken up with her motorcycle riding boyfriend for nothing. He smiled as he drifted off to sleep. The following day was going to be another big one.

* * *

Kate was on the phone for another day, Chastity Carl had disappeared, when they went to speak to her she had called in sick for work and he apartment showed signs of a hurried exit. Janice's boyfriend was missing too. Every cop in New York was looking for them and all the airports and train stations had been told to alert the police if they made an appearance. So far the only lucky break she had caught was that Castle's theory was looking better by the second. Tony's flatmate had confirmed that Chastity had been around their apartment more and more. He even told Esposito that he had caught them talking about what they would do when Janice was out of the picture, though they didn't recall what the plans had entailed or any mention of how they would get rid of Janice.

Slamming down the phone once more Kate stood to get herself some coffee. She was stopped before she even made it to the break room by the sound of a familiar laugh. Turning around she saw Castle leaning against the wall behind her desk. "You really are addicted to that stuff, aren't you?"

Forgetting her craving for caffeine she took the few steps that brought her as close to him as she was willing to get in such a public setting. "I guess I should blame you for getting the machine that makes the good stuff. I wouldn't be such a willing addict if it was still the old machine."

"Hah!" he scoffed playfully. "Yes you would. You barely even seemed to notice the taste of monkey pee and battery acid. For a while I was wondering whether it had burnt away your taste buds or you just downed it so quickly to limit exposure."

Giving in to the childish playfulness he exerted she poked her tongue out at him and changed the subject. "What are you doing here? I thought you had a party to make yourself pretty for."

"Oh, hardy har har, Detective. I'll have you know that there are many women in this city who would happily drool over me when I've just crawled out of bed let alone when I've put on a suit." He pretended to be offended despite knowing perfectly well that she was fully aware of how many women sought after him and he had caught her checking him out more than once.

Her face darkened for a split second before she allowed herself to find the humor he had intended, though her eyes still showed how much that thought bothered her. "Don't get a big head, Castle. Most women would be happy to see any semi-decent guy crawl out of bed."

"Good thing too, or I'd have a full time job just avoiding the hordes of women. I have enough trouble as it is turning down models and Detectives and the like."

Kate slapped his arm playfully. "You'd better get used to it. I don't do sloppy seconds." She smiled to show him that she meant no offense regarding his ex-wives. "Back to my question, what are you doing here?"

"Can't a guy see a girl just because he wants to?" He tried to look innocent but failed miserably.

Instead of answering she just raised her eyebrow.

"Kill joy." He mumbled as he pulled a small box out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"Rick…?"

His smile widening he pressed it further into her hand. "Open it, Kate."

Unsure about what to expect Kate pried open the lid and stood staring at what was inside. No words came to her. All she could do was try to restart her breathing. Resting in the cushion inside the box was a pair of earrings. The colour was an almost exact match for her mother's ring, as was the style.

"Do you like them?" Rick was now ill at ease. She had been staring at them for over a minute, not a word coming from her mouth in all that time. "If you don't like them, or it was too presumptuous of me I can take them back, you can exchange them or sell them. I just thought you might want something to tie in your mother's ring so you could wear it on its chain tonight. Lanie told me you weren't going to wear it because it didn't match the earrings you already have and I know you like to keep it close to you. I was-"

"Castle," She cut him off. "Shut up... You're rambling." He nodded and wasn't left to wait long for her to say what she wanted to say. "They're beautiful; and the thought was lovely. Thank you." She smiled warmly at him.

Rick was not generally one to be so moved by a smile but the affection he saw in hers was enough to override his mind and before he knew it he had stepped forward and kissed her soundly on the lips. His mind regained control a fraction of a second too late to stop the contact but soon enough to pull him away before she had a chance to react. "Sorry." He threw in quickly as he took a step back. "I'm going to- I'll see you tonight." With that he brushed past the stunned partnership of Ryan and Esposito and hurried to the elevator without looking back.

Only a matter of steps behind him Kate slid between the doors as they closed. "What was that about?"

Rick tensed, unsure of how she felt about what he had done, but fairly sure she wasn't happy. "I know I shouldn't have done that. I just got a little caught up in everything and -"

Before he finish what he was saying he felt Kate's lips on his, demanding his undivided attention. Giving in he pulled her closer and allowed the feeling of her lips moving against his to fill his mind. He missed the contact the moment she pulled away. "The only thing I want you to regret about what just happened is that you walked away too soon." Feeling ridiculous for having doubted his place in the precinct and by her side he determined that he would make every moment they were together count. With that in mind he pulled her back into his arms and pressed his lips against hers, relishing in her response.

* * *

**A/N: It's taken a long time, and its short, but that's what happens when the comp decides it doesn't like you. I was dealing with a minor version of 'iRobot' for a little while there. :) So, I hope you like it despite its pathetic size. That was the last chapter, however I may post and alternate ending for this one, the not so happy ending I was working on before I got the necessary number of reviews for happiness to prevail. In the words of Richard Castle, "You hate me a little bit right now, don't you?"** If I do the unhappy ending it will begin where this story reached chapter 9. **I'd like to thank all those who have read this and stuck with it, especially those of you who have put up with my horrible update record of late. A huge thank you goes to StevieluvsAlex, you've been a major help and a great motivator.**


	11. Alternate Ending Chapter 1

**A/N:** _Hey everyone! I know, it's been ridiculously long waiting for this update. I promised this alternate ending ages ago. But before you decide it'd be a good idea to track me down and jab me with pitchforks (Which I don't condone) I will say that in the future my update record should improve. My 'research' teacher (who is a journalist) said she will help me start finishing my stories and so if all works out you'll have a few more endings, no necessarily for this story, two will probably be enough, but for the other stories I have started on here. For those of you waiting for 'Changing Tracks' I have written the next chapter a few times but never seem to be able to find the file again and have recently discovered that I have developed a persistent case of writer's block in regards to that story, but have used the time to write some chapters for my original work that I aim to get published._

_Thank you to all of you who have stuck with me through the long waits and who will continue to stick it out for the future updates. _

_Again, this is not beta-ed and is unedited.  
_

_The only reason I was able to write this chapter now is that I'm at home, sick. I wouldn't normally say this but, thank you viruses and allergic reactions!_

**Disclaimer:**_ I still own none of this, despite my wishing it were otherwise.  
_

**_This starts where Chapter 9 of the original ending starts._**

* * *

The meeting had taken longer than expected which put him about an hour behind schedule. Rick raced for the first cab he saw, the same one Patricia had been running to. Instead of wasting time sorting out who could have it they shared the cab. She had a meeting with her brother in the council chambers and he had to make an appearance at the book store two doors down.

It didn't take long for her to realise that he was having a hard time. "I'm sorry, Rick." He looked at her, taken off guard. "…About cornering you into this. I know it's not something you wanted. I can be a little full on when I want something… You must hate me right now."

"No," He was surprised by how much he meant that. "No, I don't hate you. I do the same thing. Beckett didn't want me tagging along on her cases but I took away her options. You just did it to me is all; I'm not used to being on the receiving end… Besides, I should be thanking you. I'd never have found a way to get such a clean break… Though, I have to say, when my poker dealer leaked my plans to the media it got a little messier than I'd have liked." They both found themselves smiling at that. In hind sight, it was quite comical.

"None the less, I am sorry. I never thought it would mean you'd have to leave Alexis here." She took his hand in hers. "And if I'd known about your ex-wife, at the time, I wouldn't have put so much pressure on you."

Squeezing her hand gently he was surprised to find himself enjoying the comfort she offered. "Yes you would, you just would have done it differently. But that's okay, I've been waiting for someone to treat me like a normal person, not as the guy whose girlfriend/ex-wife was murdered." He gave her a smile, which hurt the side of his face when it pulled on his stitches.

Patricia winced with him when she saw the pain on his face. "What happened to your face, anyway? You haven't given anyone a straight answer that I've seen."

"I head-butted a shark." Neither of them managed to keep a straight face for long.

"Fine, don't tell me. But you could at least let me help fix up your makeup. Who did it for you, a monkey?"

Feigning offense he scoffed. "I'll have you know that I did it myself."

"Like I said, a monkey." She tenderly touched his cheek. As the cab pulled up she took his hand again and lead him into the woman's rest room of the council chambers. "We can't have you showing your face to a room full of gushing fans with a woman's hand print stamped plainly on your face, and I hate to say it, but your dodgy makeup job just made it look worse."

Patricia took out her makeup bag and, after washing his caked foundation off his face, began to gently blend a large quantity of cover up over the bruise.

When his face looked unmarked she packed everything away and examined her handy work. "There, good as new. All it needed was a woman's touch." The fact that his bruise came from 'a woman's touch' was not lost on them and they were soon laughing again. "I'm sorry, that wasn't intended."

"Too bad… It was a good one." Swallowing hard he decided to ask what he'd wanted to all day. When he spoke it was faster than he could remember ever having spoken before. "Patricia… I was wondering; if you're not too busy, and I would completely understand if you are, if you want to be my date for my going away party on Friday night. Only if you want to."

It took a moment for her to figure out what he'd said. When she did she couldn't help smiling. "I'd love to, Rick. But isn't there someone else you'd rather go with? There are, after all, a lot of rumors that you have a girlfriend."

"I know the rumors… No, I don't have a girlfriend. The truth is that I followed her at work for a while, for research. Maybe we could be called friends but that's it. She's actually dating this really cool guy, Josh, he's a heart surgeon."

Nodding she said, "Will she be there on Friday?"

"I don't know, I sent out the invites but Paula, my agent, is taking care of the RSVP list… Why?"

"I'd just like to meet the woman who inspired Nikki Heat."

"Ah, does that mean it's a yes?"

A secretive smile returned to her face. For a moment he wasn't sure if she was even going to answer him. "On one condition." Unsure of where this was going he nodded for her to continue. "You have dinner with me tonight."

"I can't, I have a standing dinner date with my daughter."

"Then lunch, after your book signing?" Something about her tone changed, she seemed mildly less confident and it was an unexpected boost to his pride that he could take away a hint of that seemingly impenetrable air of indifference.

"It's a deal."

"Not quite, Rick. You still haven't heard the main point." They were silent a moment, while she gathered her courage. "It's not a business meeting, or even an 'I'm in a strange city and don't know anyone' lunch…"

Suddenly confident that he hadn't misinterpreted any signals he jumped right on the wagon. "Good, correct me if I'm wrong but I'm a good looking guy and you're an attractive woman. I think we owe it to ourselves to have lunch and see where it goes from there."

Her smile brightened. "Great, um… so I'll meet you at the book shop after my meeting and we can head out from there?"

"Sounds good to me." Taking the opportunity to revel in how off balance he had her he leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I look forward to it." With that he turned and left the room.

* * *

**T.B.C...**

_P.S. To all of you still checking my online profile to see any updates, I LOVE YOU GUYS!_


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